One of my goals this year is to write more posts. Like many bloggers, I do it for love, not money. It’s a creative outlet. It’s fun and makes me feel connected to others. In many ways it’s like journaling. It helps me see what I’ve accomplished and what I hope to in the future. It helps me to see what’s important and what isn’t and to let go of that.
It’s a funny thing. Such a private, introspective thing that is completely public. Some times I realize I’m shouting into the void, other times I remember that a few people are actually reading it, some people I actually know as well as a bunch of complete strangers. I wonder if I’m being too personal or not personal enough. I ask myself if I’m being too influenced by the blogs I read, not being original or true to myself. I’m probably I’m not alone in this.
So, when I wonder what I should write about I think I want it to be relatable and helpful. The kind of things I talk to my friends about. These days it seems like we’re all talking about surviving. It may look like we’re living the dream on Instagram, but the truth is we’re hanging on by a thread. The biggest challenge seems to be mental stamina. What with it being January in the northeastern part of the US, snow days, flu season, aging parents, unrealized dreams of greatness, the news, holiday weight gain, and all the rest, it’s a lot. And through it all, I am often reminded that many things are luxury problems. The challenge is to not get overwhelmed. Here are some of the ways I cope:
Just do the next thing — When I can’t motivate, I just take the next action. It’s best if I do less thinking. I make lists and prioritize those things—does it have to get done today?
Try to do some form of exercise most days — I’ll do walking, jogging (often on the treadmill), indoor cycling, yoga, or online workouts.
Call women — I learned a long time ago to surround myself with a supportive group of women and it’s not unusual for us to call each other when we’re falling apart or to share good news (or a photo of something we want to buy but really don’t need). When I go too long between calls, or actual face-to-face time, it gets harder and harder to reach out and then I’m in real trouble.
Get out of the house — It’s a bad day when I don’t leave the house once. I work from home so I try to go somewhere else to workout, meet with a client or go have lunch with a friend. Otherwise I’ll have to think up a reason to go out like to get this rug from Target or all the way across town to take a roll of film to be developed only to learn that they mail it out.
Do work — Being useful always helps. I am so grateful for all our clients and I love what I do. Being self-employed requires a good amount of self-motivation and it can be hard to get started. My business partner/handsome husband and I started having weekly staff meetings. It’s a good way to get organized and stay motivated—and positive. I wouldn’t describe these meetings as professional… but they do help the morale.
Guilty pleasures — Because I’m a stay at home mom and work from home, I have a weird schedule. I often feel guilty that I can workout before work or take off during the work day. But there are things I have to do to maintain my creativity and my sanity. My to-do list includes things like: go to art museum, play the violin, take a nap, put outfits together, buy flowers, take down wallpaper, meditate, paint a painting, make granola, get eyebrows waxed. It may seem trivial or a waste of time to some, but I find it really helps my mental state.
So, I hope you are making it through this time of year and are being good to yourself. How do you stay positive through the winter?
If you don’t belong to a book club but wish you did, welcome to my ever-growing list of suggestions.
The Courage to Be Disliked by Ichiro Kishimi And Fumitake Koga
My friend Jenny recommended this and I bought it on iBooks. I thought it was going to be a book about setting boundaries, but it really wasn’t. I have to say I thought the format — a Socratic dialogue — very awkward. Maybe it was the translation from the Japanese. It was like, people don’t talk like that. But once I accepted that, I was able to enjoy and benefit from the ideas put forth. Although the concepts weren’t new to me, I loved them! I won’t spoil it for you, but I highly recommend!
Raising a Screen Smart Kid by Julianna Minor
This book has become my parenting bible. Limiting screen time is all my family talks (fights) about! Raising a Screen Smart Kid has helped so much. It is extremely well written (easy to read) and well researched. Oh my god, did Julianna do her homework! I truly answers all the questions. Please, for your sanity and survival, buy this book. Like, now.
The Miniaturist by Jesse Burton
Okay, now a lovely novel. Set in 17th century Amsterdam, it feels a little like Henrik Ibsen’s A Dolls House. I love a good family secrets book. A truly enjoyable literary journey.
The Call of the Wild by Jack London
I read this because my 11 year olds had to for school and I needed to quiz them on it, but I ended up loving it. So interesting. Quite violent. I’m glad I finally read this artfully worded classic based on real events in 1900 Alaska. I downloaded it for free on my iPad.
All the Light We Cannot See by Anthony Doerr
I swore I’d never read another WWII/Nazi book. This was worth an exception. Two young lives, on opposite sides of a war, ultimately converge. Beautiful described scenes and action.
Lagom by Niki Brantmark
Such a cute little book. I love Swedish design and culture. (I read and loved A Year of Living Danishly.) I’ve followed the blog My Scandinavian Home for a while and knew I’d love this book. I’m also a sucker for great photography and illustration.
Full of Beans by Jennifer L. Holm
This is one of the books I read to my kids. I got it at the library. Their dad read The Third Mushroom and The Fourteenth Goldfish to them and they loved those, so I thought it would be good. So many kids’ books are a real drag for the parents but this one was enjoyable! It was fairly gritty, kind of a Elmore Leonard vibe. Set in Key West in the depression, it follows a sort of little rascals group of kids who are very resourceful.
Becoming… by Michelle Obama
Not to be political, but I love the Obamas. It was obvious I was going to read this book. How fun to hear her life story, and all the presidenty stuff we already know, from her perspective. You gotta love her. Plus she is amazing in Carpool Karaoke.
I want to share with you some of the really good things I’ve experienced this year. It’s the 2nd to last day of the year and it’s lightly snowing here in PA. We’ve been on vacation this week at 110FRONT and it’s been so relaxing. As I was scrolling through my Bloglovin feed, I thought about my own neglected blog and what I could write about. I’ve always focussed on Fitness, Food and Fashion, because it’s honestly what I love. So, here’s what’s going on:
Fitness — I’ve been doing what I’ve always done: a random mix of whatever I can motivate myself to do and what works with the weather. A typical week includes Spin, Yoga and Jazzercise (which are the things I pay for.) I’ve been trying to curb my spending on “recreation” so after I pay the $35/month for Jazzercise and roughly $40/month for Spin, Yoga is an “extra.” I fill in the other days with free things like walking on the local rail trail or doing a workout on PopSugar. Same ol’, same ol’. Sometimes I make up my own workout. I put on a Pandora station like 80s hip hop or Florence and the Machine and just freestyle it. The only challenge I’ve had with working out is that my back has been…unpredictable… and sometimes I have to take a break from all exercise which is awful. I weigh myself daily and try to aim for a certain number on the scale. It records my weight to my fitbit app so I can see my progress — it’s a true obsession! I have to work hard on acceptance and moderation. I try to focus on being grateful for my overall health. And I have been working on my commitment to going to the chiropractor sooner rather than later. I track steps with my Apple Watch which I’ve had for over a year and I love it.
Food— Currently, I am eating everything. I don’t think Christmas is the time to be on a diet. However, making healthy choices is always in the back of my mind. I think that over the last 20 years I’ve made eating healthy a way of life. A typical day includes coffee with a little cream, breakfast: cereal with milk or eggs with baby spinach/kale and goats cheese and salsa, lunch: a sandwich made with leftover chicken, some kind of cheese, whole grain bread or salad with chicken or tuna, nuts, olives, tomatoes and homemade oil and vinegar dressing, dinner: veggie burgers with yam fries, pasta with tomato/pesto sauce or maybe tacos. I snack on almonds, cashews, cheese sticks, dark chocolate and lately: homemade cookies. Once a week we order Chinese food or pizza. I’m trying to quit diet coke, so I drink water or seltzer or green tea. I got Gwyneth Paltrow’s book, It’s All Easy, which looks really pretty in my book case. I have good intentions to use it one day. I get really bored cooking every day, thinking up what to make, but the kids are helping more and more and my husband will cook if I ask, so it’s constantly evolving. Oh, and believe it or not, I cooked meals in a crockpot for the first time this year. Win!
Fashion — This year I continued to curate my closet, only adding what I really need and what feels like it’s truly “me.” I bought things and returned quite a few things and I worked hard to appreciate and celebrate my wardrobe favorites. New additions: Madewell brown suede boots, Madewell jeans, Target (A New Day) trench coat, Everlane cashmere crew sweater and J.Crew tissue turtleneck t-shirt in stripe. I donated clothes to charity, used ThredUp and discovered Poshmark (check out my sales!) I also tried out StichFix for the first time after I received a gift certificate from my family. I ought to mention, too, that cut back what I was spending on clothes this year. We redid our budget and decided to do away with the clothing allowance. It’s been good for me to scale back and be more selective with what I buy — and more honest and transparent in my marriage. I was surprised how much I didn’t feel deprived and how much less stressed I was. A big thank you to my friend Kim who inspired me in this area.
2017 — What a year! I got a Nikon FG film camera last Christmas and am still on my first roll. I went on an amazing trip to Omaha in April with a bunch of women I adore. I watched my kids play a lot of baseball, softball & football, as well as sing (in front of people!) and do gymnastics. We went to the shore in the summer and Washington, DC in the Spring and again in the Fall. We went camping for the very first time as a family. We finally finished renovating our main bathroom, which has spanned over 7 years. We went to the shore in September which is the best time of all. I turned 50 in October and had a series of quiet celebrations including brunch & shopping in NYC. I started playing the violin after my aunt gave me my grandfather’s violin. We shared a lot more dinners with our friends/kid’s friends and learned that it’s the best way to become better friends. We lost our beloved hamster Molly and adopted a beautiful cat named Noelle. I read many books including The Magnolia Story, Peace is Every Step, Love Wins, as well as these. Every thing I read this year was from the library or was a gift! Favorite shows I watched were: The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel, The Patriot, Red Oaks, Big Little Lies, The Great British Baking Show, The Crown, Alias Grace, Ozark & This Is Us. That’s it. Thanks for reading.
Happy New Year! Here’s to another great year of health & happiness!
I’ve had a lot on my mind these days. Life is busy and life is incredibly hard and lately, very tragic. I think a lot about what’s going on in the world and I feel a lot about it. This blog is my outlet… an emotional and a creative outlet. I think we all need a light-hearted diversion occasionally. So, please indulge me in this very not serious topic: Shirt Tucking.
I have always been squarely in the no-tuck camp. Why? Because I have (in my mind) a crazy large booty. I feel like the visual effect of having my tops over my pants creates the optical illusion that my backside is more reasonable. For this same reason I have embraced lower cut pants as long as they’ve been around. As waist heights have risen, I’ve resisted. Ever so slowly I’ve become more openminded about high waisted pants. And one day last month I was somewhat willing to try tucking in my shirt. Probably because of Jeanne Damas. I started to think maybe it looks better to tuck shirts in. I kind of like having a defined waist and having longer-looking legs.
I tried tuck vs. no-tuck with the two pairs of high-waisted pants I own: a wide-leg crop from Madewell (that I cropped myself using this video), and a long flare from the Gap.
So, I enter into evidence, exhibits A – E. You decide.
It all began back in 2013. I became aware of the most important wardrobe must-have. The Trench Coat. Remember Audrey Hepburn in Breakfast at Tiffany’s? I wanted to look just like that. I searched and researched and then finally, on February 4, 2014, I found the perfect trench coat: Banana Republic, eBay, NWOT, $50.
I never wore it. I tried. I really did. I thought the problem was that it was too long, so I had it shortened. I still didn’t wear it.
Pictured below: The BR Trench Coat (photographed January 2016)
Caught up in Ines de la Fressange x Uniqlo fever, I bought a bunch of stuff I would end up returning including this next trench coat, pictured below. I felt like the color was wrong and the lining made it look bulky.
I continued to obsess about finding the right coat.
Then I read the book, The Curated Closet and learned that just because everyone says something is a “Must-Have” you don’t have to believe it. It may not work for you. I mean, how can something be a must have for everyone. I began to let go of my need for a trench coat. “It’s not me.” I still sort of held out hope. Maybe, I just hadn’t met the right one.
I finally gave away that Banana Republic coat I never wore, never loved. I could live with out a trench coat in my carefully curated wardrobe. No one needs a trench coat.
But I still searched. I saved them on my Pinterest boards. I had my eye on a few, but waited. I didn’t need one and I didn’t need to spend the money.
And then on a whim I grabbed this trench coat, pictured below, at Target for $45. I’m wasn’t sure about the color but loved everything else about it, especially the hood. As I was buying it I felt sure I would be returning it the next day.
When I’m bored or uninspired by my clothes, I go to my style board on Pinterest. When I’m really bored, I try to recreate my favorite pins with items I already own. Not a new concept of course, it’s been done by everyone from jseverydayfashion.com to manrepeller.com.
Look One: Cream-colored sweater, olive “army” pants and black sandals. I would love to buy a cable knit sweater like the one in the inspiration photo, but will settle for this old, Old Navy sweater. Source
Look Two: White button down, black pegged trousers and red pumps. I love her shoes—leather with ankle straps. Mine are swede and you can’t see it but they have a nice brown block heel. This is a simple, obvious outfit formula, but somehow I needed Pinterest to tell me it goes together. Source
Look Three: And black trousers go with anything so they definitely go with my oatmeal colored sweater. I don’t know what kind of shoes she’s wearing, maybe Adidas, but I’m still doing the red heels. Sunglasses complete the look. Note to self: a big black tote can’t be too big. Source
Look Four: There are so many things that are good about this inspiration photo, from the coat to the little bag, but the main thing here is: high-waisted jeans that are belted and have the shirt tucked in.* After I took this selfie, I promptly took a pair of scissors to the hem of my jeans and then washed them. Source
*Only half tucked, but may have been a turning point for me regarding tucking in shirts.
My name is Leigh. I am a graphic designer and a photographer. I love minimalism, danish modern decor, clogs, books, and art of all kinds. I strive to live a healthy life and promote sustainability.
