Shout out to my Dad who, when I was little, would always make me inventory my clothes before I was allowed to get new ones.

“Dad, I need new jeans.”

“What’s wrong with all the ones you have?”

Then I’d try on each and every pair of Toughskins to show him that they were either too tight, too short or had holes in the knees. (Wait, that describes the exact jeans I’m looking for today!)

Then out would come the iron on knee patches.

That was grade school. In Junior High and High School I earned my own money and bought Guess, Jordache, Levi’s and even Marithe & Francois Girbaud. I am so dating myself!

So, here they are, every pair of jeans I own to see if I could justify buying just one more pair of jeans. (Spoiler alert: I did.) And to make recommendations for anyone interested.

Note: I’m almost always a 29, but I indicated where I sized up or down.


Lucky Lolita. There’s a tragic tale that goes along with these jeans: a gift from my husband, an attempt to exchange them because they were too long, a botched hemming job at the dry cleaners. In the end they became my favorite jeans. I’ve since cut off the hem. I sort of feel that they’re little too low waisted. One size down. Here’s their latest version with the coveted let-out hem.


Citizens of Humanity Emerson Slim Boyfriend. These are so soft. They’re loose and stretchy but fairly slimming. They look best with a sexy-ish heel. One size down. Get ’em here.


Lucky Charlie Skinny. These are lovely. Soft and stretchy in a dark, crinkly blue. Should have listened to the Lucky salesperson and sized down one size.


H&M Girlfriend Fit. I loved these at first, more flattering that the Gap pair I had, but they bag out quickly. I like the higher waist. I always go up 2 sizes with H&M. You can’t beat the price.


J.Crew Toothpick. Everyone needs a pair of classic dark wash jeans. These aren’t the most comfortable, but they are flattering. On sale!


J Brand. These jeans! My first pair of really expensive jeans (that means different things to different people obviously) that I bought before I had kids, they’re that old. I was pulled into Barney’s COOP while shopping with my cousin Anna in DC. The woman working the “denim bar” argued with me that the 28s fit perfectly and the 29s were too big. To emphasize her infallibility, the model-looking ingenue said, and I quote, “I’ve worked in denim for seven years.” I bought the 29s. I had them hemmed and then re-hemed recently. Every time I’ve worn them I’ve felt like a celebrity. However, they’re not really my style any more — the bootcut-ness of them — I’m considering selling them. Similar pair.


Kensie “You Look Pretty Skinny.” A score at Marshall’s. Everyone needs a super-light-wash pair, right? Soft, stretchy but slimming. Yay!


Zara. Sort of scandalous black waxed jeans with gold zippers. A gift from my bestie Jen. I love how other people’s picks say what they think about you. Apparently she thinks I’m Joan Jett, right? Surprisingly comfortable. Keep, but reserve for sexy night out and with long shirt.


Banana Republic Skinny Ankle. I love these. I ended up cutting them to shorten them and have fringe and I don’t regret it. Great waist height. Great stretch. SLIMMING. Buy these right now.

That’s it for jeans. Chinos, cords and trousers will be for another day.

And so I bought these:


J.Crew Distressed Toothpick in Pamona Wash. Hello perfect Jeans. High-but-not-too-high waist, soft, stretchy, keep their shape, distressed without big knee holes, nice length with or without a roll, slimming and a great blue color that goes with everything. Denim Heaven.