I find that the weather can really dictate my mood, and my motivation. If I don’t see blue sky or sun for a while, I feel … not good. So, when that happened recently, I thought, maybe there’s something I can do. I sat down and wrote this list:
FLOWERS CANDLES EXERCISE OUTSIDE FRIENDS VITAMINS MUSIC PERFUME
Some of these things are obvious and I do them fairly regularly. But some of them surprised me. Like, where did that come from? So I know these things help improve mood, but the thing about a cloudy day is I forget about all the things that can make me feel better. I need to remember to use them when sluggishness started to settle in. And the sooner the better. Usually taking simple action works well, like taking a walk. And, the more often I do these things, the easier it is to do them.
Since I work from home, which I love, don’t get me wrong, I need to find excuses to get out of the house. I also need to connect with people (other than the three I live with.) Calling a friend is super helpful. Seeing them in person is even better! Making plans with your people is so, so important. I think we all learned how important human connection is after being deprived of it during the pandemic. I can’t make plans with someone, I usually go out by myself. I highly recommend strolling through stores just to look at stuff. Or better yet, an art museum.
Exercise is also essential. Luckily I’m already in a good habit of prioritizing workouts. Usually I do it first thing in the morning. Right now I have a routine that I walk the dog then I go for a longer walk by myself. On some days I do Jazzercise from home. I started doing Jazzercise on-demand at the start of the pandemic and I love it. Don’t judge my old lady workouts! They’re awesome. When the days get shorter and colder and I’m less willing to go outside, I have to really make myself get outside. I know it makes a big difference in my energy level.
I definitely believe in vitamins. I just never remember to take them. Not only are they good for physical health, they are good for mental as well. Studies have shown that calcium, chromium, folate, iron, magnesium, omega-3s, vitamin B, vitamin D, and zinc all help to boost mood. I take Garden of Life but there are obviously many to choose from.
Adding light, artificial light if it’s cloudy or dark, is supposed to regulate circadian rhythms (like your body’s reaction to light and how it effects energy). I got therapy lamp a few years ago to help with seasonal affective disorder (SAD). “Symptoms of SAD include loss of pleasure and energy, feelings of worthlessness, inability to concentrate, and uncontrollable urges to eat sugar and high-carbohydrate foods.” – Harvard Health Blog. I’m not sure if the one I have is good or if it’s making a difference but I thought it was worth a try. I find that turning on lights and lighting candles can also make me feel better.
I found it really interesting how many things on my list were sensory. Flowers and candles – sight, music – hearing, perfume (and flowers, and candles if they’re scented) – smell. Enlivening the senses can make us feel more alive. So often people are tempted to numb out to combat depression; bingeing on alcohol, sugar, social media, or TV. Feel less. I never realized that feeling more could be much more effective.
The idea of buying myself flowers is very new to me. So is wearing perfume. I think I got my new love of fragrance from my daughter who is constantly asking for essential oils, candles and perfumes. It feels very indulgent and I’m surprised I haven’t allowed myself to enjoy it more before now. I learned a lot about happiness and self-care from reading The Year of Living Danishly. Lighting candles, drinking hot tea, listening to music, setting a mood. How did I not know about these things?
It’s so easy to get caught up in doing all the things. We feel compelled to clean and work, to take care of others and be “productive.” But if we’re feeling down or tired maybe we need to take a step back, slow down and do something that really creates beauty and wonder. Maybe a cloudy day is just the universe saying, your to-do list just got a lot shorter.
Some books I’ve read lately. I’ve read NINE! books since February. Ah, COVID. These are they. Enjoy.
The News of the World
by Paulette Jiles
This was a really nice read. It’s set in Texas, 5 years after the conclusion of the Civil War. It had me looking up words, timelines and facts as I went along… I realized that historical fiction is probably my favorite genre. This book gave me a little bit of All the Pretty Horses vibes, and of course True Grit. I did guess at the ending but I still enjoyed it all the way through.
The Midnight Library
by Matt Haig
I’ve been telling everyone about this book. And so many people are reading it! It’s not that it’s the best written book, but it has such a great concept — the chance to relive your life by changing the decisions you made. Extremely enjoyable!
Today Will Be Different
by Maria Semple
I chose this book because I enjoyed Where’d You Go, Bernadette? by the same author. Today is a view into the life of Eleanor, a restless wife and mother who has an overactive mind. Basically me. It felt good to get drawn into her comical malcontent. The end of the book seemed to arrive quickly and I almost felt like I had watched the first episode of a TV show with no more episodes available.
Jane Eyre
by Charlotte Brontë
Do I even need to review this book? It’s the sort of classic fiction I was made to read in high school, but I wasn’t. It was referenced in two different books I read this year and I decided I had to read it. If you aren’t used to reading 19th century English Lit, it may be a lot. It was challenging for me, but so worth it. I see why it’s so beloved. The writing is so descriptive, so artful, so unlike anything written nowadays. But I think the best thing about it is getting to know Jane, a woman who has every reason for not being virtuous or true to herself and yet, is.
Such a Fun Age
by Kiley Reid
This was a good in every way. Easy to read, plot twists, authentic characters, good writing that you aren’t even aware of as you’re reading it. The story felt so modern and relatable. I enjoyed the settings – New York, Philadelphia, Allentown – all so familiar. My favorite part: the dialog between the three-year-old girl and her babysitter who just ‘gets’ her.
Beach Read
by Emily Henry
I did, actually, read this at the beach. It was okay. But, I think I’m just not that into romance or YA and this was a little bit of both. It is a book written about authors writing books. Which takes place on a lake. There’s a fair amount of history of family disfunction. Then there’s super steamy luv scenes. All in all a good vaca read.
Eleanor Oliphant Is Completely Fine
by Gail Honeyman
This was a weird book. But weird is good. Spoiler: Eleanor is NOT fine. I found it somewhat interesting and reassuring to go on the journey with her, about her past, her trauma and then her slow renewal.
The Thirteenth Tale
by Diane Setterfield
This was my cup of tea. Family disfunction, multigenerational saga, mystery… It was thoroughly enjoyable and richly descriptive. I was engaged all the way through. Tried to guess the ending but was still surprised.
The Woman in the Window
by A.J. Finn
I don’t usually read suspense but this was very good. I wanted a good page turner after reading Awakening the Heroes Within. Obviously it pays homage to Rear Window and Noir in general but is it’s own story. Has you guessing who dun it as well as is she imagining it all? Recommend!
This is an account of how my sense of style came to be. When I wonder why I’m so preoccupied with clothing, I only have to look back on my childhood and it’s pretty clear I how I grew up to be obsessed.
Vintage kilt and saddle shoes
Alice in Wonderland look.
Pretty epic pair of overalls.
When I was very small, my mother dressed me, as I like to joke, “like a character in a Truffaut film.” She scoured yard sales and the like for simple, understated items she considered cool. I didn’t think much about it at the time. I just wore whatever she picked. I do have one early memory where I insisted on picking out my own outfit and I’m pretty sure it was a checked top and stripped pants and she said it did not look good, that I couldn’t wear two patterns at once. We got into a heated debate about it which ended with her saying, “Well it doesn’t matter what you think you look like, it’s what others think because they’re looking at you!” Other than that, my early childhood was a blissful time filled with shopping together, handmade dresses from Marimekko fabric and the seasonal tradition of taking clothes out of the attic and making me try every single thing on to see if it still fit.
When I was seven, my mom left my dad and went to California. My brother and I stayed in DC with my dad. My stepmother arrived soon after and a new chapter in my fashion life began. Now all my clothes came from Sears and the only criteria for them was they were 1) inexpensive and 2) covered my body. This time from age eight to about 14—those very critical years for a girl—were very bleak but ultimately formative.
Hardy Boys t-shirt.
Dead shirt and jeans.
Strapless crop top and cut offs.
Every time I asked my dad for clothes he’d say, “Let’s look at what you have.” I’d have to open my dresser, take out all my jeans and explain why they weren’t perfectly good or try them on.” If it was determined I needed new ones, we’d walk four blocks to Sears and I got to pick out a pair of Toughskins or something similar. It was horrible. And that was the good part. A lot of my clothes were hand me downs from my older brother. My sneakers were Sears brand and everyone knew it. My shoes had 4 stripes on them, not 3 and definitely not a swoosh. I did everything I could to talk my dad into cooler shoes. He said, “We’ll see” which obviously meant “Probably not, or no, never.” But when my sneakers finally got holes in them, (I might have dragged my feet while bike riding), he relented and I got my Nikes.
My stepmother made an effort to intervene in the clothing department, insisting to my father that “Girls need pretty things.” She was an accomplished seamstress and would occasionally let me pick out patterns and fabric and then she would sew things for me. One item that I remember distinctly was a full length wrap skirt made out of baby blue satin. One Christmas she bought me a book of Japanese fashion and I fell in love with Rei Kawakubo and Yohji Yamamoto. I know, right?
It wasn’t until I had my first jobs, at Subway, then Baskin-Robbins, that I had the money and the power to buy what I wanted. I feel like I bought a pair of Jordache jeans with my own money. I distinctly remember trying them on and thinking I looked amazing. I don’t have any photos of me in them so maybe I just imagined it. I didn’t have much to spend in high school so I mostly shopped at thrift stores. Or wore my friend’s clothes. In these days my peers were wearing Polo and Izod shirts, Tretorns and Bass shoes. Some of them were Goth, but mostly just very plain and somewhat anti-fashion. We dubbed our style “the no-style style.”
College and the years after are one long, painful string of bad choices. With clothing, I mean. Okay, with everything, but mostly I bought many odd and unrelated items, from Ross or Marshall’s or maybe the Gap sales rack that I look back on and wonder, “What on earth was I thinking?”
Ever budget conscious, I shopped at H&M, Gap, Banana Republic and J.Crew either at their factory stores or if it was on sale. I found pieces I liked but nothing really went together, at least not the way I wanted. My style looked hodge-podge and cheap.
Montmartre.
A french bulldog.
Argyle looks French, right?
In 2007, I got to fulfill a lifetime dream of visiting Paris. I always imagined how I’d look like a native and feel like a character in a Camus novel, or again, a Truffaut film. It didn’t really work out that way. Still struggling with what to wear and still on a budget.
After Paris came a long-awaited and very joyful pregnancy and birth of twins. From then on, there weren’t many photos taken of me. Just me taking thousands of pix of the kids. And really I didn’t think a lot about clothes. I just wanted to get back in shape and maybe have a full night’s sleep.
1st selfie
It was 2011 that I took my first mirror selfie. I had started looking at stuff online about putting together outfits. I followed J’s Everyday Style, Kendi Everyday and Unfancy to name a few.
In January of 2012 I started the blog “Women’s Work”, originally as a place to discuss the challenges of balancing work, childcare, etc. but it was really just a place to explore random thoughts and teach myself WordPress and blogging in addition to working as a Graphic Designer and being a mom of twins. Later I renamed it LeighFeather and committed to focusing on my three favorite things: Fitness, Fashion & Food, posting sporadically. And now it’s seven years later! I feel like I’m just starting to know my style and like what I wear. And it’s funny, I’ve probably known it all along. It’s simple and understated, sort of vintage/retro and a little masculine. It’s jeans and t-shirts and a good amount of black. And I feel good.
Although The Mall of America claims to be the biggest mall in America, The King of Prussia Mall states that it is “the largest shopping mall in the United States in terms of gross leasable area, with a gross leasable area of 2,900,000 square feet.” Okay. Why is it called “King of Prussia”? Because it’s in King of Prussia, PA. Why is the town called that? Because it was named after a 18th century inn of the same name, which is named after Frederick the Great.
Anyway.
This is THE mall. Where I live, there’s a little mall, a “big” mall and then there’s KOP which has practically every store there is. Drive time is 15 minutes, 30 minutes and 60 minutes respectively. If I want, I could drive into NYC in about an hour and 45.
So, we are in a place and time where we can buy almost anything online. And I do. But so often I think, I want to see it all, touch it, try it on. I only really like to order online if I get free shipping both ways. I know, I’m spoiled. This is what led me to drive an hour to Philly. I had ordered some things from J. Crew and didn’t want to spend money to ship them back. No, instead I’d spend money to drive really far to return them at what is now the closest J. Crew. We used to have a J. Crew up here but it closed. But, I’d also get to look at some other brands we don’t have here like Madewell. And it was an excuse to get out of the house.
To say that place is overwhelming is an understatement. I logged over 12,000 steps that day! I went into a few places I’d heard about from other bloggers and always wanted to experience in real life but in the end I really didn’t get excited by much that I saw. I was prepared to be a little bit “bad” and spend more money than I should and I actually left empty handed.
Here’s a list of all the stores at King of Prussia (skipping food, men’s and sportswear), divided up by where I’ve shopped, where I want to shop someday and where I’ll pass:
BEEN THERE, BOUGHT THAT
Aerie – used to be my fave for underthings, now it’s GAP
Ann Taylor – A little too “office” for me
Anthropologie – I’m over it
Athleta – All the time
Banana Republic – Sadly, my go-to
Clark’s – I’ve had some luck here
Coach – A couple splurges
DSW – I live here
GAP – All the basics please
H&M – Fun times!
J. Crew – So much. Closest is KOP
LOFT – Too much
Lucky – Less these days
Madewell – Pretty in love. Closest is KOP
Nordstrom – Dangerous. Closest is KOP
Old Navy – Just for the kids, and PJs
Steve Madden – Many shoes have I owned
Urban Outfitters – A bit young, but still good. Closest is KOP
Vans – Sk8rgrl
Zara – Once or twice. Closest is KOP
IN MY DREAMS
Bloomingdale’s
Burberry
Cartier
Carolina Herrera
COS – This was my fave part of my recent visit to KOP!
Diane Von Furstenberg
GUCCI
Hermes
Jimmy Choo
Kate Spade
Longchamp
Lord & Taylor – THE department store when I was growing up in DC
Neiman Marcus
Rag & Bone – Want!
Saint Laurent
Tiffany & Co.
Tory Burch
Vince – bought a jacket from a thrift store in NYC
THANKS, I’LL PASS
Abercrombie & Fitch
Aéropostale
American Eagle
BCBGMAXAZRIA
Bottega Venetta
Brooks Brothers – I bought one pair of used chinos that I love
BVLGARI
Calvin Klein Underwear
Chico’s
Club Monaco
David Yurman
Diesel
Ecco
Eddie Bauer
Eileen Fisher
Everything But Water
Express – not since the 90s
Fendi
Forever 21
Francesca’s
Free People – kind of cool
G-Star RAW
Garage
Guess
Hanna Andersen
Hollister
Icing
Intimissi
J. Jill
Johnny Was
Johnston & Murphy
Joie – I did take a look…
L.L Bean
Lane Bryant
Lily Pulitzer
Loro Piana
Louis Vuitton
Lululemon
Macy’s
Michael Kors
New York & Co.
Nick + Zoe – I checked it out this trip
Omega
PacSun
Pink
Ralph Lauren
Salvatore Ferragamo
Soma
Spanx
Talbots
Ted Baker
Timberland
Tommy Bahama
True Religion
UGG
Untuckit
Vera Bradley
Victoria Secret
Vineyard Vines
White House Black Market
HONESTLY, NO CLUE
AAO
Altar’d State
Brighton
Calzedonia
Ermenegildo Zegna
Dynamite
Henig Furs
Henri Bendal
Marc Cain
Marmot
MCM
Paula Hian
Philipp Plein
Primark
Rigby & Peller
Robert Grant
South Moon Under
St John
Superdry
Tadashi Shoji
Thomas Pink
Torrid
Tumi
Villa
Wolford
Zuminez
That’s it. Let me know if there are any brands you know and love. Do you think I should I rethink any of these? The great thing is I realized I am not missing out. Also, I now know what they have at KOP and that it’s not that far. I might have to go again soon for the Shake Shack alone!
[Updated to include the entire year and notes on whether or not I made good choices]
Last year around this time I turned over the finances to my husband. In 14 years of marriage I have aways managed the money but a new level of soul searching and letting go led me to “try” something new. We don’t have an unusual amount of conflict around spending—just the normal amount. 😉 But when we look at where we’ve been overspending it’s almost always the same: clothing, dining and recreation. We set a budget and go over that budget. And, honestly, the clothing category is all me. So, all this to say, I had to start being “good.” For the last year I was given a monthly cash allowance of roughly what I should have been spending all along. Allowance is for anything outside of the budget. Oh yeah, “Clothing” ceased to be a category. My “mad money” was to pay for clothing, make up, hair, nails, etc. But, it gets tricky when ordering things on-line. I have to use a Credit card and then pay it back with cash. It got pretty confusing and so I kind of gave up keeping track. I honestly didn’t know if I had been good. I mean, I kind of knew I wasn’t when the Nordstrom sale came around in the Spring. (Stitch Fix also contributed to my downfall.) A lot of what I bought has been underwear and workout-wear which I don’t think should count toward “additions to my closet” but whatev. I’ll also mention that I justified overspending by selling clothes on Poshmark. I made about $225 from Postmark sales.
The following is what I added to my wardrobe this year:
Lucky Jeans – Hayden High Rise Skinny Jean in Farolito $129 – I bought to replace the jeggings and then kept both. Look great. Kind of tight.
December $0
So that’s the extent of it. I know that may seem like a lot to spend to some people (or very little to others) and I hesitated to include prices but for me it’s important to drag it out into the light of day. To be true to myself. Throughout the year I bought and returned quite a few items. I knew they weren’t right, that I wouldn’t wear them. Some of what I bought (and kept) turned out to be great decisions, and others were not. Live and learn, I guess. It makes me see that I can stand to be a lot more intentional in my buying process. To my credit, I tend to pin things to a wish list board and then wait a while before pulling the trigger.
My ultimate goal is to enjoy what I wear, how I look and then get on with it. You know? I hope somebody somewhere gets some inspiration from this, on how to have fun with clothes, but, like in a grown-up-y way.
My new favorite thing is Poshmark. I originally heard about it through another blogger Lindsey Kubly. It’s the perfect place to sell clothes you no longer wear and find things you want to buy for really good prices. Selling is so easy. The phone App makes it really simple and quick to post items. When they sell, you get an email with a prepaid mailing label and when the buyer accepts the shipment the money goes right into your Poshmark account.
Here are some of the items I’ve gotten so far this year:
ATHLETA LEGGINGS: $30
Spin twins!
GAP BLACK GIRLFRIEND JEANS: $20
JBRAND ARMY SHORTS: $8
MADEWELL EMBROIDERED TOP: $13
JCREW STRAW MARKET TOTE: $20
I got a few other things not pictured (a pair of like-new Gap capri leggings for $13, a pair of Madewell shoes for $60 and Lancome makeup set for $20) and I’ve been happy with everything I’ve bought. Some of my purchases were exact items I was searching for, like the above tote that I used to own and lost last year. So far to date I’ve sold a total of $275 worth of clothing. That’s money I either used to buy stuff on Poshmark or transferred into my bank account to cover things I bought that were outside of my clothing budget. Win-win! Try it out.
My name is Leigh. I am a graphic designer and a photographer. I love minimalism, danish modern decor, clogs, books, and art of all kinds. I strive to live a healthy life and promote sustainability.
