It’s been awhile. I haven’t been blogging. I haven’t been socializing. I haven’t been a part of the world. So I thought I’d check in with you all. After much thought and reflection, I’ve come up with a vision for this platform, this blog. And that is this: just post stuff. Sometimes a crappy effort is better than no effort at all. Creativity is a tricky thing. And I can talk myself out of creating because I think too much about my audience’s reaction. But, really, who cares? Sometimes the cure for feeling stuck is to just do the next thing, no matter what anyone thinks about it.

Let’s pretend that I posted something new every week. That would take us back to April 3rd. That was my friend Annie’s birthday. Some of her friends and I decided to go over to her house and sing happy birthday to her in her driveway. That turned into dressing up and singing and dancing to ABBA. And then that morning it was rainy and I thought we decided to wait until the afternoon when it let up. I stepped out of the shower and Peggy called and said where are you?! I said I’m not dressed and aren’t we doing it later? to which she said, and I quote, “Just put on your wig and get over here!” And I did. We danced in the rain to Waterloo and Mamma Mia and Annie videoed it and even though we said do NOT post that, she put it on YouTube.

A few days later we went through the kids not wanting loft beds any more. My daughter convinced us to dismantle hers so it was just a regular full sized bed on the floor with no room for a desk and a massive clean out of her closet and all her old toys. I photographed all the Barbies, the My Little Ponies, and other oddities (Do we really need a rubber unicorn finger puppet?) and asked my friends if they wanted any of it. My son’s loft bed could not be converted so it was either use a chainsaw or flip the whole thing upside down. We chose the later and ended up having to take it apart and put it back together incorrectly, which was quite the IQ test.

Then it was Easter.

Then my daughter grew out of all her clothes. You know what that means. She wanted new clothes. It seemed like the perfect time to finally get her to watch The True Cost. If you’ve never seen it, you should. And your kids should. It’s about the devastating effect of fast fashion. In actuality bribed her. I said I’d buy her the crap she found on Pinterest if she still wanted them after watching it. She didn’t. We got a few things she needed. I passed her old clothes to friends and got some new-to-us things from other friends.

Quarantine continued and we struggled though online or “distance” learning. Middle School is a MF. I decided it was time to read Queenbees and Wannabees. It is full of great information about the challenges of teenagers. It also re-traumatized me! Ah, adolescence.

And there you have it. That was April.

One of my goals this year is to write more posts. Like many bloggers, I do it for love, not money. It’s a creative outlet. It’s fun and makes me feel connected to others. In many ways it’s like journaling. It helps me see what I’ve accomplished and what I hope to in the future. It helps me to see what’s important and what isn’t and to let go of that.

It’s a funny thing. Such a private, introspective thing that is completely public. Some times I realize I’m shouting into the void, other times I remember that a few people are actually reading it, some people I actually know as well as a bunch of complete strangers. I wonder if I’m being too personal or not personal enough. I ask myself if I’m being too influenced by the blogs I read, not being original or true to myself. I’m probably I’m not alone in this.

So, when I wonder what I should write about I think I want it to be relatable and helpful. The kind of things I talk to my friends about. These days it seems like we’re all talking about surviving. It may look like we’re living the dream on Instagram, but the truth is we’re hanging on by a thread. The biggest challenge seems to be mental stamina. What with it being January in the northeastern part of the US, snow days, flu season, aging parents, unrealized dreams of greatness, the news, holiday weight gain, and all the rest, it’s a lot. And through it all, I am often reminded that many things are luxury problems. The challenge is to not get overwhelmed. Here are some of the ways I cope:

1. Just do the next thing — When I can’t motivate, I just take the next action. It’s best if I do less thinking. I make lists and prioritize those things—does it have to get done today?
2. Try to do some form of exercise most days — I’ll do walking, jogging (often on the treadmill), indoor cycling, yoga, or online workouts.
3. Call women — I learned a long time ago to surround myself with a supportive group of women and it’s not unusual for us to call each other when we’re falling apart or to share good news (or a photo of something we want to buy but really don’t need). When I go too long between calls, or actual face-to-face time, it gets harder and harder to reach out and then I’m in real trouble.
4. Read inspirational books — Right now I’m really enjoying The Year of Living Danishly by Helen Russell. I know “Hygge” is super trendy these days but all about making the most of winter right now. I’m also reading Peace is Every Step by Thich Nhat Hanh as a sort of daily meditation which is amazing.
5. Get out of the house — It’s a bad day when I don’t leave the house once. I work from home so I try to go somewhere else to workout, meet with a client or go have lunch with a friend. Otherwise I’ll have to think up a reason to go out like to get this rug from Target or all the way across town to take a roll of film to be developed only to learn that they mail it out.
6. Do work — Being useful always helps. I am so grateful for all our clients and I love what I do. Being self-employed requires a good amount of self-motivation and it can be hard to get started. My business partner/handsome husband and I started having weekly staff meetings. It’s a good way to get organized and stay motivated—and positive. I wouldn’t describe these meetings as professional… but they do help the morale.
7. Guilty pleasures — Because I’m a stay at home mom and work from home, I have a weird schedule. I often feel guilty that I can workout before work or take off during the work day. But there are things I have to do to maintain my creativity and my sanity. My to-do list includes things like: go to art museum, play the violin, take a nap, put outfits together, buy flowers, take down wallpaper, meditate, paint a painting, make granola, get eyebrows waxed. It may seem trivial or a waste of time to some, but I find it really helps my mental state.

So, I hope you are making it through this time of year and are being good to yourself. How do you stay positive through the winter?